I just woke-up. It is early. I am sitting on the terrace and smoking a cigaret. My thoughts are with her. Is she already awake? Is she having breakfast now? Is he touching her, or not? She worked whole evening on the computer yesterday and send me a nice small mail. She cannot send a big mail. Her husband follows her everywhere and not leaves her alone. I wrote her a mail just before I go to sleep:
My lovely flower,
I read your e-mail a few seconds after you send it. I am sorry about your parents sms.
if you sometimes think:
- that you take the wrong decision
- that your children are better of in a complete marriage
- that the whole world is against you
- that you are not sure
- that it is better to stay
- that all you do is wrong
- that all problems will be to much
- that our love is impossible
- that everybody thinks you are stupid
- that you are all alone on this world
- that you not know where and how you will be in one year
- that our love will end
- that you are not you anymore
- that all is to much
- that live is not worth it
- that you like the cage
- that the fire in your eyes will not come back
Please call me, just call me.................
I only love you...........
M.
For her it is difficult. Sometimes she will think: What am I doing? I am breaking with my normal life and there are so few people who support me. As if she is alone out there, alone in this world (Like Remy, but he had Vitalis who helped him). That's why I send the above mail. So, she knows she can always call me if she wants to talk to me.
Tomorrow I will go to work again. My holiday is over and the real real world will start again. Today we will have bbq with friends and it is a nice ending of the holidays.
She not knows yet what she will do tomorrow. She has a restday on monday and she took another restday for tuesday, and also her husband requested the restday. Maybe they go to the lake, maybe they go to buy clothes. Maybe she goes to the government office to clear some details on her company.
For me it is pitty. Mondays are the skype-days. Only on onday we can talk and watch. We can talk and see eachother. It has already been 3 weeks since I saw her, and I problaby must to wait another week before I see her beautiful face again. But we talk, everyday, sometimes more the 1 or 1,5 hour by day.
And we love eachother........deeply.......very deeply. It will be 6 weeks and 3 days before we see eachother again, and both we are so much waiting for this moment.
I simply love her, that's all!