Just write to save my diary

That's all


48 hours.......

Only 48 hours from now.................

@темы: Love, Personal


Today is the first day of a new life............

Today is the first day of a new life ...........

Many insecurities ..............

How will he react .............

What will he do ............


How good I will sleep ............

How easy I will wake-up .................

How nice to have only 1 alarm ............

I do not know what will be in the next months. I know she will be more quiet during the days. Spend more time with children during the days .............

And then reality will come back again ............

What will be her next steps ..............

What will be her next purpose ............

What will be her next important decision ...........

How I support and love her, and how I wish all will be as she wishes ...............

Go on my Rose, speed is not important, only the result is!

@темы: Love, Personal


Today we set record, more then 4 hours..........

06.00 - 08.15 (10 minute break for big message)
09.30 - 10.30 (no breaks)
14.30 - 15.45??

No silence, a lot of laughs ..............

Fun and pleasure ......................

@темы: Love


Have I told you lately - Van Morrison

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness
take away all my sadness
ease my troubles that's what you do

For the morning sun in all it's glory
greets the day with hope and comfort too
You fill my life with laughter
and somehow you make it better
ease my troubles that's what you do
There's a love that's divine
and it's yours and it's mine like the sun
And at the end of the day
we should give thanks and pray
to the one, to the one

Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness
take away all my sadness
ease my troubles that's what you do

There's a love that's divine
and it's yours and it's mine like the sun
And at the end of the day
we should give thanks and pray
to the one, to the one

And have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
You fill my heart with gladness
take away my sadness
ease my troubles that's what you do
Take away all my sadness
fill my life with gladness
ease my troubles that's what you do
Take away all my sadness
fill my life with gladness
ease my troubles that's what you do

@темы: Love


Why is it always the people that you love..........

Why is it always the people that you love that experience "tragedy" in their lives.

Let me explain.
I have a friend, he is 61 years old. He is a real friend. The word friend I not use often, it is special. It has nothing to do with love, it is friendship. Undefinied, no complexes and unconditional.

About 1 year ago they diagnosed cancer. His world fall apart. he is a healthy man. Play tennis 3 to 4 times a week. Sold his company, no need to work, only enjoy the pleasure things in life. Became a granddaddy, proud of his grandchildren, and then ........

Chemotherapie followed, destroyed his legs. He could hardly walk after the treatment. But he is purely optimistic person. He fought back, could walk again, could ride bycicle again, and even we played tennis together at the end of july.

It was a little miracle, no it was a big miracle. I go on holiday, and was busy. Busy with my private life, and busy with my business life. Did not talk to him for 4 weeks. Monday I spoke to his daughter at the tennis-club. She told me the cancer came back. Her father in despair, totally depressed, frightened, what will be.

This morning I visited him, apoligized for the long time of no contact, he said: no problem. I said: it is problem. I am busy, very busy, but it does not give me the right not to call you to ask how you are. We talked. Monday he will go into the scan again and friday sept 11th. he will get the result.

And both he and I are prepared to the worst-case-scenario.............

Yesterday she sends sms to me:
U-fff... All is good. We are in the policlinic now. Because this woman said in the end that my son has problems with renales (I don't know how to say in English, it is latyn). And I also have problems! I never had before! I am not believe, but I want to check. Have a nice evening. I love you.

I replied immidieately: please inform me about your problems and if all is oké. It was 17.45 my time. No reply, no sms. I worried. Is she still in the policlinic? Did the docter find something bad?

Called to her girlfriend 2 times. Finally her girlfriend send sms to me that all is oké (21.18).

I had to wait 3,5 hours for an answer.

Is it so strange that I worry...........?

@темы: Love, Personal


Yesterday I fired him.......

Yesterday I fired him. At the end of the day I asked him to come to my office and I informed him that his contract would not be extended.

He did not say so much. He understood, and that is just the reason why I have no faith in him. Come on, say something, be angry, be happy, shout, cry, but please say something. Nothing, silent, maybe on the point of a little mental breakdown.

I told him that I would inform the rest of the team friday-morning at the coffee and that he could decide if he would be at 08.00 in the office and listen to my anouncement or that he would come a little bit later so he no need to listen to the anouncement.

He said: I will be there. I said: Good, I think you should be there at 08.00 so you can also give your own statement and point of view.

He was not in the office and I was so sure that I made the right decision. It was absolutely clear for me again that he has no guts. That he is a "child" of 26 who does not want to face reality and cannot face the people he has been working with for almost 1,5 years and be a man and listen to the anouncement.

I pitty him, not because I care about him, I care the company's future, It is my first priority, but I pitty because how is this boy going to survive in the real world out there.

Finally he came in and it was really embarresing what he did. We have two entrances in our office. One entrance is at the front and then you pass my office. The other entrance is at the warehouse and you not pass my office. He entered the building through this entrance and he did not walk to my office to say Goodmorning.

How childish a grown-up man can be ????!!!!

Now I lost all my respect for him. GROW UP please !!!!!

And the funny thing is that while I am writing this story, that I know that she will read this story, and she will see many many parellels to a man she also knows ..........

@темы: Business



There are no words at this moment to explain what is going on in my mind .............

@музыка: can't fight this feeling - REO Speedwagon / Christopher Cross - Theme from New York

@темы: Personal


Many ways to wake-up, but this one is nice.....

There are many ways to wake-up, but this one is nice, very nice.

I cannot live without you...I very much miss you.. I love you... Goodmorning, my LOVE.

@темы: Love, Personal


Something interesting did happen......

I wrote in my previous blog that I would return if something interesting would happen today.

So, I am back because something interesting happened today in the afternoon.

It lasted 1 hour and 38 minutes, my God how interesting it was................!!!!

@темы: Personal, Love


What shall I write.............

What shall I write?

I do not know. I not have any new ideas. I did not have any reply on my logistic-questions, nobody wants to help me (ha ha). No, it is just that I not have anything specific to write about.

Of course, my schedule for my trips is almost finished. I will leave for China on friday sept 11th. Will work with my customer 4 days. Then will stay another 4 days in the office and I will fly back on monday sept. 21st. to my lovely country.

The second trip will be a couple of days later and this trip, of course, is on a personal level much more important. No need to explain why.

Holidays are ending, customers coming back to their offices and we are already working for spring / summer 2010 and as always we have no idea what it will be. What will we put in collection, what will we choose. All is possible in accessories. the only thing I know that we are not sure how our business will develop for the next year. Within 1 month I have to make my budget for 2010 again.

I have to make decision about one collegue to stay or to fire him. I think I will fire him. he is not sure about himselve, he shows no initiative, does not remember procedures (even when he wrote them down himselve on paper). Why waste more energy to teach him. He is working now 1 year and 3 months in our office. He is 26 years old, will turn 27 in oktober and I wonder if he even got laid (with a girl then) one time in his life. So, in my mind decision has been taken, and I only have to inform him about it. And then of course the search for a new employee. And that is maybe the most difficult part. Yes the labour-situation at this moment is "oké", but also we must to spend much much time in learning a new collegue all procedures.

And then the Rose. She is busy also today. Just receive sms from her. With her son she is doing many many plans now. Problaby she is outside to some government-office to settle some questions about her work, and I will patiently wait our talking later today, because she will call me later.

So, that's all for now, if something interesting will happen and I want to write it down in my blog I will do it.

@темы: Business, Personal


Do not worry......

Do not worry about your talking to me, anytime I will listen ......

Do not worry about your soft or strong words to him .................

I know your attitude ..............

Please worry about the lovely words you will say to me when we meet .............

I want to hear the loveliest and most romantic words from you ..................

I wait these words ..............

I wait your hug ...............

I wait you ..............!

@темы: Love


This morning 07.45

83 minutes and no silence, nothing, only talking.......

How pleasure.........

@темы: Love, Personal


Saturday, the weekend, and then.....

Saturday, start of the weekend for most people. Not for me (not for her also). I always work on the saturday-morning. It is quiet in the office. No phonecalls, not so many e-mails, can do some necessary paperwork, private work, etc etc.

I always drink coffee, read the newspaper, download some music, surf on the internet, etc. etc.

I like it, it is convenient, relaxed and quiet.

And of course, I wait her call. She called at 08.00. She was late. She told me yesterday-evening she would wake-up at 04.00 her time, but she decided to stay asleep for 2 more hours as sleep was much more needed then the work on the computer.

So, at 06.18 I received her sms. She knows that if she wakes-up at 04.00 all is quiet in the house and he will not disturb her. So, you can guess waht happened when she woke-up at 06.00. Her husband also wake-up. She asked for coffee, he prepared the tea (minor detail, does not matter). Again he tried to touch her, but of course no result ..... Annoying it is, why a man cannot understand the situation. She said me: he does not understand my actions, so he also not understand my words. It is simple.

Yes, of course it is simple, but also it is irritating, annoying, makes the atmosphere unpleasure. Why sometimes men are so stupid that they simply not understand that NO = NO and that the situation is as it is.

We talked, more then 1 hour. No moments of silence (only when we must think about answer or dig in the deep memory of our lifes). And that is what is so beautiful about our talks. Never a dull moment, never a silence (also because the noise in the bus is loud, ha, ha). Always a subject to discuss. Today we talke about the past, about history of our lifes. I mean to say, I asked and she told. And she talks quietly, with reason, with thinking, with simple and clear explanation. And I listen, patiently to her story, and sometimes ask the question. Always trying to explain how some things are in my life, or how my history was. But today she talked only about her history, we not talk about my history. Later we will do. We have so much to say to eachother that there will be no dull moment on the phone.

Now she is waiting her husband. he will come to her shop to pick her up. Fortunately her sons will also be there. it is more safe for her. In most lifes the mother protect the sons, always, it is nature. In her life also, she protects her children, but the children not know that they are also a big protection for her. They do not know it, they do not realise it. Later in many years when the sons are older, maybe she will explain to them how important they are in her life, more important then they realise now ............

I am finished with my working and writing day. I will go home now, to my children, enjoy the saturday, or what's left of it. I MUST to buy the dictionary today. The score is already 4 - 0 in favor of her. The language-battle is continueing. I am behind, I will behind, but even if I am behind her in this battle, I am ready to be in the locomotief. Fysically she will be behind me then, but in the language-battle I will always be behind.

You win honey, I accept defeat already, but I will fight, so the defeat will be small ...........

You win honey, with your voice, your smile, your eyes and your crazy-ideas. How pretty is your victory, how humble I accept defeat. How nice that the winner and looser will always be equal in the end......................

@темы: Business, Future, Personal


All is same again........

I did not want to ask but I did: "did you have dinner all together?"

She said: "I have had dinner alone ....."

All is same again in her house now .........

What can I say .........


@темы: Love


Язык битва .....

Я должен купить русский словарь.

Я не хочу потерять langauge-бой.

Но я думаю, я буду .......

@темы: Future


Logica in logistics

Somebody must to explain this to me:

A = supplier
B = importer
C = customer

Price development:
A = 1,00
B = 1,20
C = 3,00

We are B (importer).

Today received e-mail from supplier.

Supplier said: We (supplier) will not do business with you (importer) anymore, because you (importer) work directly with our customer..............

Can anybody explain the logic to me..................??

@темы: Business


19.08.2009 One hour and 49 minutes on skype

Finally decided to go home yesterday around 15.00. I did not want to stay in the office. It was 32 degrees, and at home there was nobody so I could quietly work at home and wait her message.

Just 3 minutes in my old car (VW Beetle - 1973) and the phone rings. She called from skype. How are you? Where are you? I said I was on my way home, but I will be alone at home so we can quietly skype. How coincendence!!!

Arrived home connected the computer (we have wireless at home so I can sit any place I want). Then we called. She looked tired and not so happy. First she cleaned her living room, camera on, could follow every step. She showed the clothes she bought for herselve, her sons. Coat with fur, boots, yellow coat. She was happy with her new clothes.

Then we talked face to face. Of course talked about the situation at home. Difficult, still. Husband still not understand what the attitude is. Still trying to touch her when she insists she NOT want. It makes her nervous, not relaxed and I can see it in her eyes. Disagreement about champaign, how much, when and with whom to drink.

Son arrives at home. She closes the door to the living room, son must wait in his room/the hall (ha ha, good solution), so we can quietly say goodbye to eachother. We wish eachother good evening, already goodnight also, just in case.....

20.40 She sends sms with her new phonenbr. I call her back, I am still alone. Talk little, she is happy. Best friend comes in the car with sons. It is funny, friend knows all (and supports), but children not know, so I ask question and say words and she only say Da Da Da. I know this situation. It is funny. We both know how to play the game. Finally: Paka Paka.

Mind at rest, relaxed for the evening and wait her next call. Now she can send sms anytime she wants, no need to be afraid the company (or husband) can check the record. The world becomes a little bit smaller and more open for us now.

At night fall asleep, difficult to get to sleep, temperature is high. To high to sleep and much to high for.....!

02.00 Vibrating phone, sms, go downstairs, from her, it is safe to reply. I do, small reply, with all feeling in it. She problaby continus to sleep quietly and I, I go upstairs, look at my girlfriend who sleeps, and I think...............

What do I think................?

@темы: Personal


I miss you.........

I miss you........

I wait your voice........

@темы: Love, Personal, Thoughts Aloud